The bumper stickers were amusing at first, but quickly grew tiresome. Part of it was the novelty - in LA, other than an election year, you don't see many stickers, probably because most of the cars are leased and no one wants to be dinged when they're turned back in.
But here, they're everywhere. They must hand them out when you register your car at the DMV.
They break down roughly 70/30 "I'm going to Heaven, you're going to Hell/ You're a Traitor".
The Christian ones are just tedious. Yes, I know, I know - You're going to heaven and your car will be driverless/your life was saved by "body-piercing" (hint hint - nails on the cross). Anything else? NEXT.
Actually, everyone but me is apparently "saved". (The "gay" thing). I'm picturing God, sitting in Heaven at His Mac (the computer created in HIs image) hitting "command-S" billions of times. I don't know what you PC people do, but I'm guessing it involves about 6 more steps and a blue screen.
And then there are the True Patriots.
"Freedom Isn't Free". How true - and neither was that sticker, sucker.
And I hate to break it to you, but no one is prying anything from your hands- cold, dead, or otherwise.
So I thought I had grown pretty immune to them, but then this morning, one caught my eye...
"DAIRYING IS NOT A CRIME"
Whaaaa?........ When did this happen? How did I miss this? They're trying to make "Dairying" a crime ?!?!?! When did it become a verb?
It was on a white truck, and the license plate read "BY MILK". Hmmm.. I'm guessing they mean "BUY MILK" - Hooked On Phonics has done this country no favors.
Buy milk? Why? Are they outlawing it? Will it soon be scarce? Will buying it support "the cause"?
It must be a new front in the Wingnut conspiracy war. Where it falls on the Birther/TeaBagger Scale of the Absurd, I don't know. Below "Obama is a Muslim Ferriner" I'm sure, but above "Obama is oulawing lightbulbs".
At any rate, we now have a new crusade. SAVE MILK! JOIN THE CAUSE!
We'll call it the "MILK LIBERATION FRONT".
Or "MiLF" for short.
