Here's your morning traffic report:
Major pile up on the morning news; multiple words involved.
I promised myself I would lay off the morning news crew, they've suffered enough. It's really just too easy, fish in a barrel. So after the last post on the subject I vowed to give it a rest.
For awhile at any rate.
But then there was this morning's unfortunate carnage.
It started with a story about an infant undergoing a rare surgical procedure. It wasn't even a local child, so I have no idea why they chose the story. Someone aware of their own limitations would have taken one look at the name of the procedure and ditched the story, or at the very least just referred to it as "brain surgery".
But not here.
So, like a monster truck attempting to jump a row of school buses, he went for it...
"Hemispherectomy".
It was like a semi barreling down an ice covered highway and, sure enough, it jack knifed. I don't even know what a hemispherectomy is, but after watching the anchor attempt it again and again I found myself wishing he'd had one. It seemed to throw everyone off their game, what there was of it, and it started a chain reaction of botched stories. I found myself covering my face as the words just piled up.
Survivors attempted to take refuge in the entertainment report, to no avail. They launched into a story about an upcoming film based on the life of famed showman "Libber Ace".
Never heard of him? Sure you have.
Flamboyant... pianist... candelabras.... played Vegas... you know....
"Libber Ace".
