"The Senator said the comments were just a bunch of Hyper-Bull..."
I was watching the local news (of course). The word he was thinking of was "hyperbole", or so I'm guessing. There aren't a lot of professions where a great vocabulary is essential, but I would think "newscaster" would be one of them. Obviously, they didn't get that memo here.
I rag on the local news all the time, I know, but I only do it because I care. I certainly take no satisfaction in watching these poor people make fools of themselves.
OK, maybe just a little.
You get the common mistakes, the ones that would send my sainted mother, the former school teacher, right off the edge...
"Probly."
"Nucular."
"Libary."
"Irregardless."
A lot of people make those mistakes, but they aren't talking to you on the TeeVee. Last week we learned (twice!) of a hidden weapons "ka-shay" (cache), held my Mexican drug "cardles" (cartels). The weather girl was promoting a local restaurant and it's free meals for Veterans. It was an all-you-can-eat "buffit"! And around Halloween there was discussion of the best films from the horror "jen-ra" (genre). Words derived from French appear to be a particular deathtrap. There really should be a three-strikes law for the word "entrepreneur". But they're equal opportunity offenders and they aren't above slaughtering good 'ole American either. Ever hear of an "andiron back" chair? Neither have I - they meant Adirondack.
The seasons are another tough subject. Now that we've passed the Autumnal "equine ox", it's the perfect time to take in the Fall "foilage". We're looking at chilly weather, "probly" until "Valentimes" day.
And then there's world events. They should really just be banned from the local news. When Mt. Merapi, the volcano in Indonesia, erupted several weeks ago, the local anchorwoman was trying to describe the country. She took a running start at the word "archipelago" but crashed into the boards. She tried again and again but it was like watching a bad skater attempt a triple-axel. She finally just threw in the towel and went to commercial. Last week was particularly bad, what with the President's travels to India and Asia. By midweek they appear to have recognized their limitations and stopped even attempting the names, referring to everyone as the "President of This" and "Prime Minister of That". Country names they can handle. As long as it isn't Myanmar or Uzbekistan.
But they aren't beyond hope. A couple of weeks ago there was news out of Iran, and the morning anchorwoman gamely attempted "Ahmadinejad" and promptly face-planted the name. But when she was back at 11am with the midday news and did the same story, she nailed it! She actually turned into a bit of a showboat, dropping his name more times than was really necessary. I can't say I blame her. She was "probly" in the bathroom practicing for four hours.
So it just goes to show that they're teachable. And once we're done with the anchorpeople, perhaps we can work on the people who do the on-air graphics (see above) and teach them how to spell
C A L I F O R N I A.
(BTW - the correct answer is 'B", 22.20.)
