The boyfriend had forgotten to pay his Sears card, and since he isn't here, he asked if I would run down to the store to take care of it. Not a problem, I've done it before. So it was off to Sears, "Where America Shops™".
The Sears here is awful. It's a giant slab of Soviet-era concrete. And it's attached to the ugliest mall in America, Valley Plaza. From the street, the mall looks like a medium security prison and has almost as much charm. It was a very sorry spectacle when we first moved here. Several of the anchor tenants had gone belly-up leaving boarded up hulks at two ends and inside it was endless corridors of dark, vacant retail spaces. Over the past two years though, things have improved... slightly. They added (yet another) Target and one of the vacant department stores has been turned into the world's largest Forever 21. As if the world needed a mammoth Forever 21. At least it filled up some space. It looks like a lot of the stores have been rented so the mall doesn't seem so much like the set of a post-apocalyptic film anymore. And the powers that be have embarked on a beauty makeover and finally ditched the old logo, which looked like it was made of human bones...
But, back to Sears...
I knew from previous experience that there's only one cashier where you can pay your bill and it's located in the garden department. Mid day on week day the store is always dead and I figured I'd be in and out in no time. Then again, I didn't factor in... Bakersfield.
I rounded the corner into the garden department and there at the cashier was a line of 8 people and some sort of dispute at the register. It had clearly been going on long enough for a line to form, so as I took my place in line I tried to get up to speed on the what was going on.
Here's the deal...
The man at the counter was trying to buy something. What, I couldn't tell you. What we did know was that it cost $8, or rather, it would've cost $8 but it was on sale. We knew it was on sale because rung up on the register was $4.80. And therein lies our dispute.
"The sign said 50% off!" insisted the man.
The clerk calmly informed him the sign said "UP TO" 50% off. His particular item was only 40% off.
"No it didn't!" said the man.
"Yes it did" said the clerk.
"No it didn't!" said the man.
"Yes it did" said the clerk.
"No it didn't!" said the man.
"Yes it did" said the clerk.
This back and forth had obviously been going on for a long time before I arrived.
The clerk pointed around the store to all the sale signs, all of which clearly said "UP TO 50% off".
"They're all the same, they all say 'Up To'" said the clerk.
"Not the one where I got THIS!" yelled the man.
Just then, another clerk showed up and I thought "Thank God", at least she'll be able to take care of all of us".
No such luck.
The first clerk turned to the second and said "BRING ME THE SALE SIGN FROM THE FASHION DEPARTMENT".
"Fashion" and "Sears" - two words that should never be used together.
Clerk #2 disappeared and a few moments later came the sound of a metal rake being dragged down a sidewalk, the clerk dragging the metal sign stand across the tile floor. She slammed it down next to the register and clerk #1 jabbed her finger at the words "UP TO".
Not to be outdone, the man jabbed his finger at "50%".
"UP TO..."
"50%!"
"UP TO..."
"50%!"
"UP TO..."
"50%!"
Back and forth they went, each practically punching the sign. It wouldn't be long until one of them actually broke through.
I should point out that this was all over 80 cents, the difference between 50% off and 40% off.
By this time, I was the only one getting visibly perturbed. The seven people in front of me all stood there like sheep. You see that a lot here. If this dispute dragged on for days, they would all still be standing there.
Finally, the yelling stopped and there was an uncomfortable pause. And then man suddenly said...
"Then I don't want it. I AM NOT PAYING FULL PRICE!!!".
And he stormed off.
Elapsed Time: 20 minutes. And probably another 20 minutes before I even arrived on the scene.
I am counting the days until we move because truth be told, I have had it UP TO here with these people.
