Traffic. Or rather, the lack thereof.
Until we were forcibly relocated here I never really appreciated just how much time I had wasted in my car back in LA. In LA, no one thinks anything about an hour commute to work and it's nearly impossible to get anywhere in under 30 minutes.
But things are different here. Aside from the idiotic street lights, which tend to run four minutes if you hit a red, you can pretty much get to wherever you want to go in ten minutes.
A couple of weeks ago I had a meeting scheduled with a prospective new client. We were meeting at Starbucks, near our house.
Yes they have Starbucks here; they aren't complete barbarians.
I got there a bit early and ordered an iced mocha and just as I sat down, my cell rang. It was client and he was apologizing profusely. His previous meeting had run long and he was "clear across town" and would be late. He was there in three minutes.
But don't try telling the locals they have no traffic. Their perspective is different and to them traffic is horrible. When we first moved here I was working for a now defunct agency. The house we rented was about three miles from the office. Most mornings I could get there in a 5 or 6 minutes. I was chatting with the office manager one morning and she asked where we lived. I told her the neighborhood and she replied "Well, that's a really nice neighborhood, but I could never deal with that commute."
Every time I drive back into LA, my tolerance for the traffic grows thinner and thinner and I think that if we still lived there, this weekend would push me over the edge. Because this upcoming weekend is...
"CARMAGEDDON".
They're doing the unthinkable and closing a ten mile stretch of freeway for the entire weekend. And not just any freeway, but the 405, or as it's commonly referred to, "the Fucking 405". It's the only freeway the serves all of West LA. It's the major route to the airport and the beaches and they are taking it completely offline. The reason why is they're in the midst of what seems like a 50 year project to widen it. And to do so they need to demolish the Mulholland bridge.
It is going to be the Mother of all Clusterfucks.
It will bring that city to it's knees.
How bad will it be? Here's a clue: when I had to drive back into LA last week, the digital freeway signs, here, in Kern County, were flashing a simple message - "JULY 16-17: AVOID L.A." And this week, the local radio stations are running ads for several of the coastal cities saying "Since LA will be impassable this weekend, why not come and enjoy a day at the coast?" There are stories out of LA of people leaving town for the weekend to avoid it, businesses closing, people stocking up on supplies since the entire city will be gridlocked.
And if we still lived there, we would be doubly screwed because our house was off of Beverly Glen. It's one of only a handful of canyon roads that connect the city proper to the Valley, and it's the closest alternative to the 405. On a good day, in rush hour traffic, it could take up to an hour to descend out of the hills. This weekend, I'll bet you could probably triple that time. We'd be virtual shut-ins.
So I think I can honestly say, for the first time in almost two years, I sure am glad I'm not in LA.
