I was out walking the dogs this morning, early, before the day became molten. I usually let them choose their own way; it's their time, after all. And for the first time in ages they chose to revisit our old stomping grounds, around the corner. By Mary.
Mary is in quite the festive mood. In addition to the prerequisite house flag, she's festooned the entire front of her condo with dozens of smaller flags. Yet, even from a distance, something seemed a bit... off. Once we got closer the problem became clear.
Her flags had too many stripes.
Stars too.
I didn't actually bother to count, but I'm guessing there were at least 20 stripes. That's what you get when you buy Chinese made flags. I don't blame the Chinese; It isn't their flag. Do you know how many stars are on a Chinese flag? Me neither. And this isn't the first time I've seen fucked up flags here.
I would think if you're going to put yourself out there as a "True Patriot™", you might want to at least bother to get that little detail correct. But people don't. They're either too cheap to buy a real flag, or too lazy to notice. It's Couch Potato Patriotism. Which, I suppose, isn't much of a surprise. On the news this morning they had results from a poll where 42% of the people they surveyed didn't know what year the Declaration of Independence was signed. Whatever.
It's already too hot to venture outside, but the AC is cranked and there's Twilight Zone marathon on. Seems somewhat fitting, living here.
So now it's just a matter of counting down the hours until we can celebrate the holiday the way God intended...
by blowing shit up.
Happy Fourth of July.
