Yesterday I found myself in bumper to bumper traffic.
In the drive-through lane at the post office.
I had a bill that had to go out yesterday and I'd already missed our regular mail carrier. She's what you would politely call "erratic". Some days the mail's here by 10am, other days not until 4. Some days the mail doesn't come at all. I think she drinks.
I had some other errands to run and figured I'd just swing by the local post office and drop it in the drive-through. As I pulled in, I thought it seemed awfully busy. There were three other cars already in line. Then I noticed the car at the front of the line wasn't moving at all. In fact, it almost looked like it was parked.
After a minute or so, the driver's window rolled down and a woman's hand came out clutching a manilla envelope near one of the mailboxes.
And then it retracted.
A couple of long moments later, out came the hand and envelope again.
And then back in.
We were playing "Postal Hokey Pokey".
Now the driver was creeping ever so slightly to the next mailbox. I know from experience that all the mailboxes have the same pick-up time, but this wouldn't be the first time I was stuck behind someone checking them all out hoping for an earlier flight. But now she appeared stalled again, wracked by indecision.
I've long ago reconciled myself to the morons in the check-out lines. It's the cost of doing business here. But this was fucking ridiculous.
Again the hand and envelope stretched out the window. I thought we just might have success as the envelope hovered just inches from the box. But once again, it snapped back into the car. What is the fucking problem? IT'S A SLOT! YOU JUST DROP SOMETHING INTO IT!
Again we waited and by then I had enough and I did the unthinkable.
I honked my horn.
That just isn't done here.
It evidently startled the driver, so much so that I saw the window go up and she quickly pulled up and out onto the street. She must be quite the delicate flower to get so flustered. Maybe she circled around the block to try it again. Perhaps she drove to another post office hoping their drive-through line wasn't so complicated. Maybe I scared her off the post office for good. I suppose we'll never know.
