The boyfriend hit on the perfect idea to lift our spirits and chase the blues away... a massage.
Massages used to be an occasional indulgence for us back in the day. It used to mean an afternoon of pampering at Burke-Williams and then, as times got tough, we downsized to amazing $40 massages at the Massage Garage in Culver City (Highly recommended).
Eventually we had to give them up altogether and, to be honest, hadn't even really been raised as a possibility since we moved to Bako. But the boyfriend received a slick brochure in the mail. It was for a local "day spa" and looked elegant and chic, as did the website. They offered a wide variety of services at very reasonable prices so we decided to treat ourselves for no other reason than to try and raise ourselves out of the dumps.
And yet...
Something about it just wasn't right.
The address.
It was located on a busy highway in an industrial part of town, not far from a shuttered oil refinery. Not the poshest location for a day of serenity and relaxation. So the boyfriend decided to check it out on his lunch hour. And it's a good thing he did.
From the street it looked like a Jiffy Lube. Once inside it became apparent that their most popular service wasn't on the website... happy endings. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but still, not what we were looking for. Although now I know where to go if I ever want my "oil changed", if you know what I mean.
At any rate, now that the seed of an idea had been planted, I went online to see if we could find an actual massage. At first I Googled "Massage Bakersfield", which proved to be a poor word choice. Up came a list of similar establishments in dodgy parts of town. As a general rule of thumb, if it's open until 3am, it's probably less than reputable.
Next I tried "Day Spa Bakersfield" and got a handful of hits. Basically, they were all glorified nail salons. Although they offered "massages", you just knew it was on a table back in the supply closet, a scented candle balanced on a carton of paper towels from CostCo.
There was one place that looked promising. It had a very nice website with lots of (obviously stock) photos of a serene spa experience. But then I pulled down the menu for "services" and saw this:
MASSAGES
FACIALS
PAY DAY LOANS
It looked as if we struck out. Big surprise there.
And then I remembered the woman I used to work for. She and her cougar friends always looked well-kneaded. I'd stayed on friendly terms with her and emailed her for a suggestion. She replied with a half-hearted recommendation of her hair salon but basically conceded what we already knew... to get a decent massage in Bakersfield, you need to drive to LA.
So we'll just have to find some other way to cheer ourselves up. Although I have to admit I did get a kick reading some of the "day spa" reviews. My favorite was this...
"I'm always on the search for the next best thing in Bakersfield (if someone's found it, for the love of God let me know where the hell it is)..."
Amen sister.
