Most days we're resigned to our life here in Bakersfield.
Other days... not so much.
We both go through bouts of severe depression, but luckily, until now, when one of us is down, the other is, relatively speaking, up. Somehow we're able to see-saw our way into some sort of balance. But not this week.
The boyfriend has shut down and won't even talk about it. It breaks my heart and I wish I could think of something to help. But I'm not in a great place either and can't find anything to comfort him.
Part of my problem this week is the dreams. In sleep I see vivid versions of our former life, with flashy jobs and nice things and money to burn. And then the alarm goes off and I wake up in Bakersfield.
I'm trying to look on the bright side. Back in 2008, when things really started to collapse but we were still relatively OK, I used to have horrible nightmares of worst case scenarios, of losing everything and being out on the street. But then I'd wake up in our comfortable home, relieved that it was just a dream.
Three years later, here we are.
So maybe the dreams I'm having now are a sign of a wonderful life to come.
Or maybe I'm just delusional.
