I never followed through on my threat to commit Facebook suicide and deactivate my account. For many reasons, not the least of which being that in this digital age it's about as close to heresy as you can get. Plus, I already have age working against me and by jumping the Facebook ship I'd just be confirming my "old coot' status, yelling at the kids to get off the lawn.
I did make one change, however.
I "de-friended" someone.
His crime?
He is having a simply FABULOUS recession.
I don't begrudge anyone their good fortune, especially in these trying times. And his status updates seemed innocent enough about a year ago...
"Knock on wood this awful recession hasn't affected my business yet..."
But then it all quickly escalated.
"Business is Great!"
"What recession!!!"
"It's only Monday and I already have TWO new clients!!!!"
His success is completely baffling. He owns a small business that offers a service that would be considered discretionary even in the best of times. And he isn't that good at it - trust me, I used to use him. Then again, he's always been a master huckster, so more power to him.
But then came the posts about the new car, the new backyard, the trips to Mexico....
"Waking up with the birds singing outside my window and my pups kissing my face. It's going to be a GREAT day and I feel like shouting out to the World how happy I am to be alive!!!"
Yeah, well, fuck you. And enough with the exclamation marks.
Seeing as how these remarks always seem to come sandwiched between other people's comments about being out of work, losing their houses or being laid off it seems almost beyond insensitive. No real surprise there, he was always kind of a narcissistic asshole.
But over the past couple of weeks he's become messianic. This is no longer a recession, it's Judgement Day, and God has clearly picked the winners and losers. And he has absolutely no doubt which side he comes out on.
"Bad times happen to the passive and the weak. Here's to the assertive achievers that continue to thrive in these times meant for WINNERS!!!!!"
Well, enough of that.
Buh. Bye.
Karma's a bitch, "Winner". I hope the brakes on your new car fail.
