After the news of the job offer sunk in, we reacted as you would expect... uncontrollable sobbing. Actually, it was hysterical laughter followed by uncontrollable sobbing. There was really only one thing to do in a situation like this.
Buy a TV.
Listen, if we were going to be stuck in the Land of Misfit Toys for more than a couple of months, we were going to need a diversion. A big one.
We had no money, so we did the American thing and charged it. We received a circular in the mail from Sears ('Where America Shops©") and they were having a huge sale on flat screens over the weekend. And it just so happens the boyfriend has a Sears card. How or why he has it I don't want to know. It predates our unfortunate financial collapse. It may even predate me. Maybe he has some sort of secret white trash second life on the side. Again, I don't want to know.
So off we rode in the triple digit heat. We set ourselves a $600 budget. That seemed to be the responsible, prudent thing to do. It was also all the available credit on the card. When we bought our last flat screen in 2003, we paid $3000 and it was kind of a shitty TV. It was big, 42 inches, but it was first generation and the pixels were so large it was like watching TV through a screen door. For $600 we figured we'd settle for a 24" or 30".
So imagine our shock when we walked in and saw the prices! My lord, they're so cheap now. Screw the 30", we quickly moved up into the 40 range. A small gnomish old man appeared and offered to help us. He was really quite nice, and knowledgable too. He launched into a discussion about plasma versus LCD, or LED, or GED or something. Started rambling on an on about pixels and such. Listen, honey, that electronic mumbo jumbo may be fascinating to other people, but we were shopping on aesthetics - we's already dismissed a lot of the better TV's because we didn't like the shape of the base.
And then we spotted it, a sleek black Samsung. Fifty inches of white hot plasma.
FIFTY! FIVE-O!
And it just made our budget, remarkably enough.
The little old man seemed pleased and started writing up the order.
"Of course you'll be wanting the service agreement, right? he asked. How much? $150. Listen, I've read articles that detailed how places like Best Buy make almost all their profit on bogus service agreements.
We declined.
"You're really going to want the service agreement. Kern County has one of the oldest and least reliable power grids in the country. Power fluctuates greatly here and it really takes a toll on plasma TV's..."
My God, is there no end to the unpleasant surprises here?
We still declined. By the time the TV fails, we'll hopefully have some other options and it'll just be one less thing to pack. We may be momentarily detained, but the goal is still to get the hell out of here sooner rather than later.
We schlepped the TV home and had it up an running in no time. How I've missed TV. Although the size is taking some getting used to. Everyone is life sized. It's like constantly having people over. And high definition is doing some people no favors. Kelly Ripa, I'm talking to you.
So it's been an amazing couple of days - lights in the kitchen and television again. At this rate it'll almost be like being back in civilization.
Almost.
