I have glimpsed the future. I stumbled across one of those corporate experiments, a "test concept". It was out of the way, incognito, with little or no signage.
It's a deli. It's a bakery. It's a gas station!
"Gimme pastrami on rye and ten bucks on #4..."
Who the hell comes up with this crap? Do they just throw darts at a wall full of options? Pull random businesses out of a hat and see if they can Frankenstein them together?
"Hey Phil - you got 'lube job/pedicure', see if you can make that work".
I don't know.... I'm not sure this thing is going to fly, but who knows - it certainly wouldn't be the first deli where I got gas. Ba Dum Bump.
And they cater! I sure hope the aren't counting on word of mouth -
"Betty, these canapes are divine, wherever did you get them?"
"The Shell station".
I don't see that happening, not even here in Dogpatch, where they worship the oil companies. And obviously Shell Oil (who I'm guessing is behind it since it's their product out front) figured that out too. That's why they've given it the focus grouped, market tested, blandly idyllic, yet utterly meaningless name of "Brookside". Sounds nice, right? Well this one is across the street from a vast, vacant dirt lot. The nearest "brook" is the fetid irrigation canal a block away.
It's obvious this aint no mom and pop operation - there is some serious money being thrown at this thing. Richly appointed, all dark wood and marble inside. And charging exorbitant prices that should defray the cost pretty quick. If people go for it, which I'm not sure they will.
Listen, I love people watching as I sip my latte as much as anyone - that's why God made Starbucks. I'm just not sure "watching people pump gas" is much of an incentive to switch to Brookside. Although there were quite a few people inside.
Ad therein lies a major problem, one I would think would be fairly obvious to the geniuses who thought this up - while every pump was occupied, no one was pumping gas. Not a soul around. They were all inside having nosh.
No, this one need to go back to the lab for a re-think. Start with "parking".
