I think a big part of the reason why this place is such an epic failure is the fact it's really nothing more than a faded, third generation copy of Oklahoma.
Call it... "BAKLAHOMA!". With an exclamation point - ask any marketer and they'll tell you an exclamation point adds excitement, and Lord knows this place can use all the help it can get.
There isn't anything inherently wrong with faded, third generation copies. A faded, third generation copy of San Francisco or New York would probably still be pretty interesting. The problem lies with the source material.
I mean, you have the same dust bowl agriculture as far as the eye can see. You have the same rusting oil economy. You have the same Hee Haw culture. You even have the same people - I see half a dozen Oklahoma license plates in just the immediate neighborhood, and during football season the houses are festooned with "OU" and "Sooner" pennants and flags. And yet absolutely none of it seems authentic.
But enough about that.
There's a reason you never see a "Top Ten Things To Do In Bakersfield" list, and that's because there's really only one thing to do here...
LEAVE.
Which is what we plan to do later this afternoon. I've learned not to get too excited about leaving for long weekends because it just makes the re-entry that much harder when you have to return.
There's always the chance this place might get wiped off the map while we're gone. Silly, I know. But if you don't have your dreams, what do you have?
