I was in the pharmacy, trying to pick up a prescription, hopelessly stuck in line behind a woman baffled by the checkout process.
You know, the usual.
And then I noticed a nearby display of books labeled "Bakersfield's Bestsellers".
So people here can read. Oops, I mean "do" read. Freudian slip.
The "bestsellers" on display offered an interesting glimpse into the Bako psyche.
Number 1 was "Socially Smart in 60 Seconds". Honey, listen, I've been here long enough to know 60 DAYS would be wildly optimistic, but have at it.
Number 2 was "30 Days To Taming Your Tongue". I find this curious because no one here cusses. The worst I've heard is "sweet mother of pearl" and "shut the front door". I, on the other hand, drop F-bombs right and left, which is why I've found it best not to talk when I'm out in public. Still, there must be a market for it. Maybe a pack of smack-talking malcontents I've yet to run across. I'll have to keep an eye out for them - I'd probably fit right in.
Number 3 was "Setting Boundaries For Adult Children", which makes sense if books number 1 and 2 didn't work. No one wants a bunch of ill-mannered, potty-mouthed adult children running around without boundaries.
Number 4 was 'Against All Odds: My Story by Chuck Norris". Because, really, you can't get enough valuable life lessons from "Walker, Texas Ranger".
Number 5 was "The Big Book of Church Jokes". I think this one's a trap. A test of faith. Buy this book and you'll be branded a heretic and reported to the authorities and find an angry mob at your door ready to run you out of town on a rail.
And number 6 was "Sanity Secrets for Stressed Out Women". You want to know a sanity secret? Move the hell out of Bakersfield! All the same, maybe I'll have to give this one a look.
