How do you say "Fuck You" in Icelandic? That's the question on my mind today.
I had seen the boyfriend off to work this morning and then spent some quality time with the dogs. Shortly after 7am, my cell phone rang. I saw from the number it was my Number One client, the guy in LA who, for better or worse, has been paying the bills around here for the past six months. I answered the phone.
"Why aren't you returning my e-mails?" he said.
I was a little dumbfounded. I always check my e-mail before I go to bed and there hadn't been anything.
So I loped to computer and sure enough, there were half a dozen emails from him. The first contained the copy I'd need for the project.
And it was timestamped 4:51.
AM.
The second was to confirm I'd gotten the materials. It was sent at 5:20. AM.
Then follow-up e-mails at 5:45, 6:10, 6:35 and finally at 6:55, the final one...
'I"M CALLING YOU".
And here he was, calling me.
Now I've had clients half a world away, one in Australia for instance. So I know what it's like to be working off schedule. But that wasn't the case here. He's in fucking Sherman Oaks.
He asked me why I hadn't responded. I don't know.... maybe because the sun hadn't come up yet?
That was neither here nor there to him, he needed this project done pronto and he needed to see something by 10am.
I wasn't sure what the deal was because he's really been quite reasonable up until now. I informed him that there was no way to get something showable in a couple of hours. He wasn't happy to hear that and said my absolute drop dead deadline was 1pm.
Even though he sounded irritated, I just had to know.... what was the sudden fucking rush?
"I need to run it past my new PR person. And she's in Iceland."
My first thought was "why would anyone be working if they were on vacation... in Iceland?" But it turns out, his new PR person wasn't on vacation in Iceland.
She lives there.
He hired an Icelandic PR person.
"She's seven hours ahead and she has dinner plans, so the sooner the better."
Oh, OK, sure. Wouldn't want to make Björk miss her fucking dinner plans.
"From now on, we're going to have to adjust and work around her schedule" he continued.
Who's this "we" you speak of Kimosabe?
But the truth of the matter is there isn't anything I can do about it. I've become his go-to guy for graphics and his company is taking off and my hope was to hitch a ride on his coattails all the way back to LA. I can't say no, and the whole thing has left me demoralized.
It's felt for years like we were quickly sliding into digital serfdom, expected to be tethered to some sort of device 24/7. I've actually been enjoying the drive into LA to teach because for a few precious hours I was off the computer and out of the house. That's not to say I don't get e-mails and texts and calls while I'm on the road, but it's nice not being able to do anything about it. That's simply unacceptable in this day and age.
I've had clients send things at 1am, furious they haven't received anything back by 6. I had a client incredulous when he called on a Sunday and I wasn't home and available for revisions. Clients text me on Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. I find myself feeling guilty for having what little personal life I still have left.
But.... whatya gonna do? That's just how it these days.
And now we can add "Icelandic Overlords" to the list.
Oh my.... look at the time. I's nearly 10:30 in Reykjavík. I should be getting to bed.
