I had been intrigued the first time I stumbled across it. I was actually surprised they had one here, although in hindsight, I don't know why. I couldn't check it out at that time, but planned to the next time I found myself in the neighborhood. Yet every time I was nearby and had the time, I lost my nerve.
Until Saturday.
I'm talking about Bakersfield's only Adult Book Store.
I discovered it shortly after I started this blog. I was downtown on a little photo safari, getting the shots that rotate across the top, and as I rounded a corner, there it was...
"The 19th Street Cinema".
"19th Street", because that's where it's located. "Cinema", because it sounds classy.
It's in a seedy part of downtown. Scratch that... "seed-ier". Even so, Bako's downtown is so small it's just a hop, skip and a jump to the police station, which is probably convenient.
The reason I hadn't checked it out until now wasn't due to shame. I'm gay, and we gays have no shame when it comes to porn. In West Hollywood, the porn stars are treated like royalty. No, the reason it took me so long was two-fold. First was the gauntlet of unsavory looking people that always seem to be milling about out in front. That very first time I was lugging a big (and expensive) camera, so it didn't seem like the best time. Plus, I can only imagine that someone walking in with a camera wouldn't be too welcome. Second is just the petty small town nature of this place. I'd seen how gossip spreads like wildfire and with my recent luck I figured I'd walk out just as one of my clients drove by.
It was Saturday and the boyfriend had to work. I found myself with an errand to run downtown and as I passed 19th Street, I noted that it was completely deserted. It was 10:30. A blinking neon sign signaled the store was open and I thought to myself, "if not now, when?"
First off, it's much larger than it looks from the street. The store is about evenly divided between the showroom of merchandise up front and the "cinema" in back. "Cinema" indeed. It's nothing more than a couple of rows of grimy looking booths showing flickering porn on ancient monitors. Even though I was the only person in the store, I didn't feel the need to check out the back. Wouldn't want to catch anything.
It was only me and the store's two employees, an amped up speed freak behind an elevated counter in the center of the room, and a burned out ZZ Top refugee kicked back asleep in a folding chair against a side wall. There was a third person, a shady looking guy loitering near the booths. I assumed he was a local looking for some action, but it turned out he was what passed for "security".
I've seen some sorry looking porn stores in my day, but this one really takes the cake, starting with the merchandise. The porn was third rate, at best. It all looked like it was old cast-offs and remainders from other stores, probably purchased in bulk. But worse than that was the way it was displayed. Dozens of waist high display cases, like you'd seen in a department store, were each full to the brim with DVDs stacked on their sides with only their spines showing. How the hell are you supposed to peruse the titles? So I asked.
"Tell us which case you want to look in and we'll come and unlock it and take them out so you can look through them."
Really? Like you're selling fine jewelry? And you're going to hover over me while I make my porn decisions? That seems worse than awkward.
As I said, I have no shame and besides, there was no one around, so I asked if they had a gay section.
"It's all kind of mixed together" the cashier said.
Well that's just great.
So not only would I have to look through all the porn with a methhead looming over me, I'd also have to sort through all straight porn to do it. How many MILFs, cross-dressers, trannies, titfuckers, backdoor maids and naughty schoolgirls would I have shuffle through before I found "Prison Gangbang 6"? It would be like a needle in a haystack.
Luckily, I wasn't there to shop, only observe.
I believe you can tell a lot about a town by it's adult book store, and based on what I saw I think it's safe to say that behind closed doors, Bako lets it's freak flag fly. It wasn't so much the awful selection of porn.
It was the dildos.
Every wall in the room was covered in dildos.
And not just the walls.
They were hanging from the ceiling!
There must have been hundreds of them, all shapes and sizes, and let me tell you, it's a little unsettling having that many dildos dangling over your head. I'm not sure what that says about the women of Bako. Actually, I think it probably says more about the men, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
At that point, I'd seen enough. The staff seemed less than pleased as I left without purchasing anything. And sure enough, as I walked through the door, I walked back onto a street that was now bustling with people. There hadn't been a soul around when I walked into the store, but ten minutes later it was now a beehive of activity and everyone turned and stared at me as I emerged from the store. Including the cops, slowly driving by in their cruiser.
I think it's safe to say, I won't be back. If I find myself in the future with some unexpected porn needs, I'll just wait until I'm in LA to take care of it. I wouldn't want to risk being tagged with a "Scarlet P".
