You would think, looking over the husky local population, that if there was one skill they would've mastered, one task they could complete without complications, one simple thing they absolutely couldn't fuck up, it would be the drive through at McDonalds.
But you would be wrong.
Sunday morning I had a hankerin'. A hankerin' for a McDonald's Egg McMuffin.
I was apprehensive about suggesting it to the boyfriend since he's been a little needling about my weight. Imagine my relief when he wholeheartedly jumped on board. But were we too late? It was 10:15 and they stop serving breakfast at 10:30. The nearest McDonalds in only 5 minutes away, so I thought we were safe.
I pulled up and the place was deserted. Everyone must either be hungover or at church. Or both.
I entered the drive through and there was only one other vehicle in front of me, a late model sedan with what appeared to be a lone woman driver.
From the squawk box came a pleasant "May I help you?"
From the car... no reply.
It was 10:24.
"May I help you?"
Nothing.
Just then I noticed the woman driver's arms start flailing around. Dear God, was she having a seizure?
"May I help you?"
Then the woman's arm extended through the driver's window and started jabbing the air with her pudgy little finger, pointing at the menu board.
"That ma'am is an English muffin with egg and cheese...."
The finger jabbed the air again.
"That's a biscuit with sausage and egg..."
Oh hell no! She's making the little McDrone recite the entire menu!
10:25
10:26
10:27
This bitch is going to fuck me out of my McMuffin!
Finally the driver placed some sort of order and drove around the corner to the payment window.
I drove up and quickly placed my order and as the total came up on the monitor, the menu board flipped around to the lunch men. 10:30, on the dot. I'd dodged a bullet.
I pulled around the corner to see the same hapless driver now attempting to pay at the first window. Out came a fistful of cash. Then another one. WTF? Was she paying with Lira? Then the poor girl at the window started handing cash back. Then the woman handed her another fistful of cash. What the hell is the problem? Was the first batch counterfeit?
Eventually the tab must have been settled, because the car started moving up to the second window to pick up her order. Only she... just. kept. going.
Didn't stop to pick up her order. Just pulled back into the parking lot and circled the building.
When I got up to the payment window, the poor girl just rolled her eyes. Nothing needed to be said. It's Bako.
I finally reached the order window and as I received my order, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the same car coming up behind me, lap 2.
I suppose McDonalds is easier to navigate on the second try. Of course, for all I know this could have been her sixth or seventh attempt.
I happened to drive past McDonalds yesterday and half expected to see the same car still there. In this town that wouldn't be that unheard of.
