One of the first things you notice after you move to Bakersfield, after the smell, is... there sure are a lot of old people here.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Lord knows I'm not that far behind, so I'm in no position to bitch about it. Even back in LA I was already getting "pre-need" applications from Forest Lawn. And lately I've been getting e-mail promotions for Hoverounds and Boniva. All the same, you do get the impression you're living in a Del Webb retirement community. If I have one complaint it's that these aren't the kindly Mrs. Butterworth variety of old people, these are the you-damn-kids-get-off-the-lawn kind. These people are cranky.
Can't say I blame them - I've only lived here six months and I'm always angry. Imagine what living an entire life here would do to you.
But upon closer inspection, you realize it's not so much that there are a lot of old people, it's that there's almost no young people. It's as if the entire generation between the ages of 18 and 35 has been abducted by aliens. You have school age kids, and old people, with a giant donut hole in the middle.
It's not that great a mystery, really. There is nothing for younger people here. Once they hit 18, the smarter ones get the hell out, off to college. Even the dimmer ones probably join the carnival circuit for a chance at some sort of future. Anyone too stupid to leave is left here to propagate the species.
I really do feel for the kids here. What a miserable existence. I saw a bunch of them just hanging out, being kids, snacking, texting, doing what kids do... doing it on the grassy median in the parking lot of the supermarket. Hanging out between the bumpers of F150's. I guess that's what passes for a park here.
But by far the sorriest thing I've seen since I've been here was actually in the supermarket. I was on yet another joyless shopping trip when I turned down the aisle to pick up some paper towels and was taken aback to find two little lovebirds, canoodling... in the shelves. They'd carved out a little loveseat on top of the Bounty. The boy was sitting cross legged, the girl splayed out, resting her head in his lap. They both were texting, oblivious to anyone passing by. I felt like I was intruding and quickly rolled by. I hoped they were just hanging out, waiting for a parent. But 30 minutes later I was ready to leave and I still needed my paper towels. So back I went and there they were. I was embarrassed as I reached over their heads to grab the no name towels.
We're on a budget.
I left the store feeling sad for the kids. What a pathetic childhood. I'd get the hell out of town too if the best place I could find for some quality time with my girlfriend was on top of the Quicker Picker Upper.
