Some things in life are simply unavoidable.
Like Ryan Seacrest.
In LA he was inescapable. Between his local morning radio show, American Idol, his mini-schmaltz empire at E! or the countless products he endorsed, you were bound to hear his voice at least once a day, and have his shit-eating grin bearing down on you from a billboard or the side of the bus.
You would think, living in outer Bumfuck, we would be free of him.
But no.
His morning LA radio show is syndicated.
And it's the strangest thing you'll ever hear.
It airs here in the afternoons, and evidently in an effort to trick people into believing Ryan is RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HOMETOWN, they've taken his morning show and stripped it of any local references, any mention of LA. They've also edited out any reference to the time of day, the day of the week, the day of the month, the month or the year, all the better to air it in any "shuffle-from-hell" that they choose.
Perhaps they were too clever by half, because Ryan sounds like a retard.
The edits are so bad it's laughable. Jokes have no punch lines, sentences just end, hanging in mid-air. They try and cover some of the more egregious cuts with his sidekick cackling over the splice. And then they randomly add pre-recorded station promos to make him sound as if he has multiple personalities.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I guess it works, and knowing Bako, people probably think he schlepps over Tehachapis each and every day to entertain the Greater Dogpatch Metroplex.
All I know is he's laughing all the way to the bank.
But he still sounds like a retard.
