So the first thing that struck me when we ventured into Bako to look for a new home is the sheer number of fast food outlets here. Not just fast food, but also "casual dining", as they like to be called. Every single major thoroughfare has every chain you can imagine, and even some I've never heard of before. In triplicate. And while the vast majority of them look run of the mill, there's a sizable number that look... off. Either the architecture is strange, or the logo and graphics look different. The first week we lived here, we had no fridge, so we hit up quite a few of them, and even in the "normal" ones, the menus seemed different.
Ah, but there's a method to the madness. There's a reason Bako has one of the highest per capita number of less-than-fine dining establishments. Corporate America has determined, through market testing and focus groups and demographic studies, that Bakersfield is the perfect cross section of this great country. God help us all. So they have turned Bako into one giant petri dish, a test market for all manner of new menus, new products, new looks.
That ice blended mocha from McDonalds? Bako tested and approved!
They even test new... concepts. Ever eaten at a JBX? Well, you never will. It was a new concept from Jack in the Box. It was "Jack in the Box... After Dark". It was a Jack in the Box designed as a lounge that served beer and wine. It even had a fireplace! In theory, I could see that working for, say, Starbucks. They already have the corporate fake coffeehouse thing down pat, and I could imagine around 6pm the whole back bar area swiveling around like a game show set, exposing a whole wall of cheap wines and micro brews. Maybe shots of Bailey's in their existing coffee menu. Throw in a lesbian folksinger and I think you might have a winner.
But Jack in the Box? The first problem was in the execution. They built two locations, and they both have a very industrial look, with twin metal chimneys shooting out the roof for the fireplace. The overall look is steampunk steamboat, and kind of menacing. Inside they went with dark muted colors and grunge type graphics everywhere. Grunge was on it's way out during the Clinton administration, so it already looks dated. Whenever corporate America tries to be "hip" they usually miss it by about 10 years. And there's only so far you can push the whole coffeehouse vibe with plastic furniture bolted to the floor.
But worse than the execution was just the whole misguided notion. You can figure out what happened - Jack in the Box saw McDonalds steal away a slice of the Starbucks crowd with their cheap imitation coffee concoctions and thought "we want a piece of that too". But there was no way "How about a lovely Pinot Noir to go with your curly fries..." was ever going to sound anything but wrong. And so it was a miserable failure. Lasted about 6 months, and now both locations have been reverted back to plain old Jack in the Boxes. RIP JBX.
So keep this in mind during your casual dining outings, and know that if you come across something new and yummy, you have Bako to thank for it.
Breakfast churros? You're welcome!
