Well, that was fast.
Predictable, but fast.
Mr. Back-Up Plan called yesterday to informed me that his first choice, Golden Child in Santa Barbara had backed out of his job. It seems the "scope" of the job proved to be more than he signed on for. Imagine that. The job was now mine if I wanted it. I didn't take the call, he left a message. Which I promptly deleted. It ends up I'm not quite that desperate. Yet.
And besides, when it comes right down to it, I'm just not that good at living life in the closet. I've now lived more years of my life openly gay as not and it's been 25 years since I felt the need to try and cover it up. Truth be told, I'm a little rusty at it.
Now, Bakersfield may in fact not be as conservative and narrow minded as it appears, but you don't get a "do over" if you make that assumption and you're wrong. I've told a handful of people I've worked with here and the reaction has been decidedly mixed. Only one appeared to be genuinely unfazed by the news. There is absolutely no gay community here, and the local boards on Craigslist are chock full of married men "on the down low" looking to trade BJ's out on the bike trail. So I'm guessing, openness here is not a virtue.
At any rate, back on Monday this potential client called to tell me he was in the neighborhood and thought he would drop by a sample of what he was looking to create. As I was on the phone with him I looked over our living room, the tasteful furniture, the abstract art, the fresh cut flowers, and I decided it was all just too... gay. I'd meet him out in the driveway.
He pulled up in a late model Taurus with a "NOTW" sticker on the back window - "Not Of This World"... Bible Thumper code. He gave me the sample and we exchanged a little small talk. I said "I'm sorry not to invite you in, but the house is a mess because we just moved in..."
SHIT! I said "we".
Which he sadly picked up on.
"So, where does your wife work?" he shot back almost immediately.
Now, in hindsight this could have been a teachable moment. A lesson in acceptance and tolerance.
Or not.
Bottom line was, he was Born Again and I needed the work. So without hesitation I said...
"The hospital."
"OK great" he replied. "Which one?"
And then there was this awful pregnant silence. I know how things work here and no matter which hospital I mentioned he would have a sister/cousin/aunt working there who would immediately try to track down the Phantom Wife. I stammered for a bit and finally said...
"Y'know, she just started and I'm actually blanking on the name..."
Lame, I know, but that actually works here. There are SO many hospitals here. For a population of around 350K there are at least 20 that I know of, which is why it wouldn't surprise me to find out Bako is the center of the universe when it comes to insurance fraud. They advertise on TV so relentlessly it's unseemly; they're worse than car dealers. I honestly don't get it - if I'm having a massive coronary do you really think I'm going to be comparison shopping? Looking for a deal?
At any rate, he seemed confused for a moment and then nodded as if he understood. He climbed back in his car and was on his way.
So, had I accepted the job, there would come a time in the very near future where I was either going to have to cough up a wife or come clean. And I didn't see that going very well. It was best to just walk away.
I did learn something valuable out the whole experience. From now on I'm just going to be upfront and let the chips fall where they may. I'm certainly not going to volunteer any information, but if anyone asks, I'm telling the truth. It's just much less stressful even if it may ultimately limit my opportunities.
And besides, I really doubt at my age anyone believes "I just haven't met the right girl".
Then again, it's Bako.
