A job listing popped up in my inbox.
Nothing special about that. I get dozens of them every day from the countless job sites and placement agencies I've signed up with over the years. A lot of them are for entry level positions or unpaid internships. Most of the rest are now beyond my capabilities. While technically "design" positions, they're really computer programming jobs, writing code for all kinds of online and phone apps, often in programs I've never even heard of before. I was surprised to discover that Drupal and Joomla are vital online design tools and not the names of Smurfs.
On very rare occasions a job shows up that actually looks like it's right up my alley and even after all these years and 1000+ applications, hope springs eternal. I jump through all the hoops of the online application process, tweak my resume and compile a sample package of all my best work. It hasn't resulted in as much as a phone call, but there's always tomorrow. That's what I've always told myself.
Bu this job listing was different and it actually made my heart skip a beat.
It was perfect.
The expected experience looked like it was lifted directly off my resume. It was an art position, not a programming one, and I had expert level proficiency in all the listed programs. Not only that, but in the "wish list" they always tack on at the end ( "Experience with XXXXX a HUGE PLUS"), I had all that too. They asked for examples of specific types of work, which I have in spades on my website. I looked up the company on the web and the more I navigated around the site, the more I became convinced that this was the perfect company for me.
It was a dream job.
Now, the issue with these dream jobs in the past has always been timing. After my hopes have been raised, I check the date that the listing was first posted and often it was days or weeks earlier. You have to figure if the job hasn't already been filled, they've already received thousands of applications and it honestly isn't much of surprise when you never hear back. But that's where this job was magically different. It was posted... "four minutes ago".
I didn't even have to tweak my resume. I crafted a heartfelt cover letter highlighting my perfect credentials and talking about the company to show that I had done my homework and knew what they did and who they were. I went to my website and re-orderd the work, so all the most relevant pieces showed up first. I lowballed my salary expectations, rounding up slightly from my current borderline poverty income. I packaged it all together and then with a hope and a prayer I hit "send".
And then that's when I did it. I drew a line in the sand.
If I didn't get an interview out of this application, or even a phone call, I was done.
Done looking for a job.
Done dreaming of a real job. One with steady, fulfilling work. Not to mention benefits and sick days.
I'd resign myself to a life of panhandling for freelance work, which is how I've supported myself for three years. If this application didn't open a door, it would be the last one I'd submit.
***crickets***
Well, that was three weeks ago.
So this morning I'm busying myself deleting all my job search accounts. I'm throwing in the towel. I'm done.
