Most great cities have a signature song... "New York, New York", "My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)", "I Left My Heart In San Francisco".
Los Angeles didn't have one per se, probably because there are so few words that rhyme with "Angeles"...
"Jealous"?
"Zealous"?
"Cialis"?
Back in the 80's, after the smashing success of "New York, New York", Frank Sinatra decided he was going to make lightning strike twice. He and Quincy Jones would create the song that would become synonymous with Los Angeles. And the result was "LA Is My Lady"...
'Cause L.A. is my lady
She's always there for me
L.A. is my lady
She knows how to care for me
No lady's sweeter - you know it the moment you meet her.
Holy crap. It was jaw-droppingly cringe inducing and thankfully has been lost to the sands of time. No matter. I think most people associate "Hooray for Hollywood" or Randy' Newman's "I Love LA" with the City of Angels.
But what about Bako? Surely it must have a signature song. It is after all the birthplace of the "Bakersfield Sound", a sub-genre of country music that surprisingly doesn't involve big rig air horns. And sure enough, favorite son Buck Owens recorded the ever memorable "The Streets of Bakersfield"...
"You don't know me but you don't like me,
You say you care less how I feel
How many of you that sit and judge me
Ever walked the streets of Bakersfield..."
Yeah, that probably burned a hole through the charts. Although I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in this town knows the lyrics by heart.
No, there has to be a better choice. Something that truly captures the essence of this town.
Ah yes! Something from one of my favorite films from the 80's...
"Hell Hole" by Spinal Tap
"The window's dirty, the mattress stinks
This ain't no place to be a man
I ain't got no future, I ain't got no past
And I don't think I ever can
The floor is filthy, the walls are thin
The wind is howling in my face
The rats are peeling, I'm losing ground
Can't seem to join the human race
Yeah!
I'm living in a hell hole
Don't want to stay in this hell hole
Don't want to die in this hell hole
Girl get me out of this hell hole"
Perfect.
