I often tell people that we knew we'd made a huge mistake before the moving truck had even left, but that isn't really true. Truth be told, there was a brief window of maybe three or four weeks when we really thought we'd be able to make a go of it. That perhaps we had landed here for a reason. That we could make a fresh start, live like kings for a fraction of the cost of LA. I even had delusions of making a splash in the parochial ad business, of being a big fish in a little pond.
But that was before the heat, and the bugs, the toxic air and the killer dust storms. Before the realization set in that not only was the pond little, it was an oxygen starved dead zone.
Probably because of the runoff from all the fertilizer and dead cows.
So the decision to reverse course wasn't immediate, but it was quick. Unfortunately, we realized we'd just have to do our time. We were locked in a lease we couldn't afford to break. And we'd exhausted our resources moving here. Just wait until September, we said. Just hang on until September and then we'd be gone.
But as we edge up on that month, things are looking increasingly frightening.
I'd bought into the Brave New World hype. I'd have a "virtual" job in a "virtual" office. I could work for anyone, anywhere. But the end result is I'm "virtually" unemployed. It seemed to work out well at first. I had clients in LA who still thought I was there. I had clients in Canada and Australia (who taught me the valuable lesson of negotiating my rates in "U.S." dollars, not the Monopoly play "dollars" they use). And I had steady work from the yahoo agencies here in Bakersfield to fill in the gaps. It wasn't perfect, but it worked.
For awhile.
When we moved here there were really only six ad agencies of note. There are four now. One of the ones that went under was my major source of local work. Two others are hanging on for dear life and don't appear long for this world. The final two are skating by without need of any help from me, thank you very much.
And the virtual work has become sporadic at best. You would think that advertising agencies would be on the cutting edge of technology, and to a certain extant, they are. But not when it comes to "telecommuting". By and large ad agencies are run by passive aggressive anal retentives. Their "comfort zone" is usually limited to the area over your shoulder telling you what to do. They aren't very trusting. So I find myself in a Catch 22 - agencies in LA would be happy to use me, if I can work onsite. I can't work onsite because I live 115 miles away. If I move back to LA, I can work. But I can't move back to LA until I get some work. Which I can't do, because I can't work onsite. Because I don't live in LA.
And the situation with the boyfriend is just heartbreaking. He's hated what he does for a living for years. The people he deals with are spiteful and the hours are onerous. It used to be quite lucrative, which made up for a lot, but not all, of the grief. But those days are long gone and the job is now just hateful. As he's started to look for opportunities back in LA, the prospects are bleak. He actually had an interview in LA yesterday, concocted some flimsy excuse to take half a day off, made the lonely three hour drive into to city only to discover the job sucks, the pay wasn't any better than he makes here and the hours were even worse. He was inconsolable when he called from the long road back to Bako. And I don't blame him.
The hidden casualty of this long Great Recession would appear to be mobility, both upwards and sideways. It was long considered an American birthright, but it appears to have vanished. Millions of people are now stuck, like us. Rats in a maze with no visible exits.
I just got back in from walking the dogs. The second I opened the front door the smell hit me like a 2x4. Today must be one of the days they burn the dead cows.
Along with our hopes and dreams.
