In Transit

I have to run down to the City of Angles for a quick meeting.

Stupid, I know. Six hours of driving for a 20 minute meeting, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I'll have a full Fifth of July wrap-up later this afternoon.

Freedom Isn’t Free (But It’s Half Off, at WalMart)

I was out walking the dogs this morning, early, before the day became molten. I usually let them choose their own way; it's their time, after all. And for the first time in ages they chose to revisit our old stomping grounds, around the corner. By Mary.

Mary is in quite the festive mood. In addition to the prerequisite house flag, she's festooned the entire front of her condo with dozens of smaller flags. Yet, even from a distance, something seemed a bit... off. Once we got closer the problem became clear.

Her flags had too many stripes.

Stars too.

I didn't actually bother to count, but I'm guessing there were at least 20 stripes. That's what you get when you buy Chinese made flags. I don't blame the Chinese; It isn't their flag. Do you know how many stars are on a Chinese flag? Me neither. And this isn't the first time I've seen fucked up flags here.

I would think if you're going to put yourself out there as a "True Patriot™", you might want to at least bother to get that little detail correct. But people don't. They're either too cheap to buy a real flag, or too lazy to notice. It's Couch Potato Patriotism. Which, I suppose, isn't much of a surprise. On the news this morning they had results from a poll where 42% of the people they surveyed didn't know what year the Declaration of Independence was signed. Whatever.

It's already too hot to venture outside, but the AC is cranked and there's Twilight Zone marathon on. Seems somewhat fitting, living here.

So now it's just a matter of counting down the hours until we can celebrate the holiday the way God intended...

by blowing shit up.

Happy Fourth of July.

Fakation

Did you know you can camp at Walmart? I didn't.

Evidently Walmart's corporate policy is to let RV'ers park overnight in their parking lots. And people do.

The company propaganda says something along the lines of good ole' Sam Walton was an avid RV'er and this is just his little "thank you" to the RV community. I don't buy it. I think they're just being cheap. What a shock. With a bunch of old geezers manning the perimeter in Winnebagos they can probably cut way back on security costs.

Now, I can maybe see some instances where it would be beneficial. You're midway on a long trip and you just need a pit stop for the night before you continue on. That, I get. But here's the thing... people seem to actually make the WalMart parking lot their destination!

We went to WalMart yesterday and I was stunned to see a whole encampment of RV's near the back of the lot. They weren't just parked there short term. They had the awnings unfurled and the lawn chairs out and were leisurely enjoying the view... of the oil refinery across the street. It was 105 yesterday and probably ten degrees hotter on the asphalt.

This is a vacation?

I realize people are unbelievably cheap - that's the whole reason WalMart exists. But seriously... what is wrong with people?

Sunday Inspiration

Bang For Your Buck

We went a little crazy at the fireworks stand.

That $100 limit? Well, that was really more a "suggestion" than an actual "limit".

This is our arsenal. So far.

"That going to be quite a show!" said the plump little woman behind the chicken wire booth window. "I'm coming over to your house. How many people are you having over" she asked.

Just the two of us, the boyfriend replied.

Where America Shops™

Two amazing things happened yesterday.

The first was... I paid all my bills for the month of July. All of 'em. On time. Even early in several cases. That hasn't happened in almost three years. And when all was said and done I even had money left over. Either it's some small sign things are starting to get better, or it was a fluke. Here's to hoping it was the former.

And second... I received my Sears credit card in the mail!

Five years ago if you had suggested I get a Sears card I'd think you were smoking crack. There was no way in hell I'd be caught dead carrying a Sears card. Buy oh, how the mighty have fallen. The Great Recession not only knocked me on my ass, it also knocked me off my high horse.

Last year, when we really could have used it, I was declined. Declined by Sears! It doesn't get much lower than that. But the short sale on the LA house had crushed my credit and my income at the time was spotty at best. A couple of weeks ago I decided to give it another shot and this time the Gods of Kenmore smiled on me and issued me a card!

As soon as it was activated I did the sensible thing...

I went online and bought us a pool.

One of those white trash, above ground deals. It's being delivered in a week.

Some may say that's being irresponsible, but here's my logic: It's cheaper than a funeral.

It's supposed to be around 106 for the next ten days with swamp-like humidity and if we can't find a little relief from the heat, one or both of us is going to go suicidal.

When you look at it that way, it actually seems like a very practical decision.

Sally Fourth!

Today is the day! Today is the day the fireworks stands open!

At noon, to be precise.

Although it appears some folks jumped the gun. When I was walking the dogs last night I could here firecrackers and M-80's going off in the distance.

Or it could've been gunfire.

Hard to tell.

Either way, it was festive.

I thought you could only shoot them off on the actual Fourth, but Bakersfield has a very forgiving fireworks policy - you can shoot them off every day up to the Fourth from noon to midnight. So we're guaranteed four full days of news reports of burning houses and missing fingers.

We've budgeted $100 for fireworks. I haven't told the boyfriend that yet. Yesterday I observed several of the stands loading their stock in and based on that I think this year we're going to go with Christian fireworks. The Evangelicals around the corner seem to be stocking a lot more firepower than the Boy Scouts down the street. Pussies.

I'm not sure what to make of the Christians and explosives. Part of me finds the whole idea a little unsettling. I suppose it's just a sign of the times these days.

I'm not too worried; the ones around the corner are Mennonite.

If they were Baptists, I'd be concerned.