I'm finding myself feeling somewhat adrift these days.
Part of it is the isolation; I've been in solitary confinement now for over a month, no offense to the dogs. And I mentally checked out of Bako weeks ago. I find on the rare occasion I leave the house or watch the local news, I've reverted to the same "what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-these-people" bemused detachment I had when I first moved here, before the reality and despair set in.
But the void has yet to be filled. I'm excited to be leaving, thrilled actually, but because I really have no idea where we are moving, rather than anticipation I'm feeling more trepidation. I have a vague idea where we'll be from the map and a few fuzzy online pictures of our future home, but other than that, it's a mystery to me. The boyfriend assures me it will all be great, but his continued use of words like "snug" and "cozy" isn't having the calming effect I think he thinks it does.
But in the end, it all doesn't matter. We'll be away from here and that's the important thing. I just want it over with already.
